Back to Bloggery

I can’t believe it’s been over two years since my last post. I can’t believe I paid for my URL and web whatnot for the past two years without so much as a, “Hello readers!”

Well, for those of you who aren’t friends who click on the link that ends up getting posted on my Facebook wall, I haven’t been doing too well with the whole “mental illness recovery” thing. I think that a great deal of apathy on my part makes it difficult to try and move forward with my life. I want to believe that I can stay in recovery, but from my own personal experiences, I know that the resources are few and far between. I’ll have to channel the strength from deep within me. I hope I still have strength to fight my demons.

I’m hoping to try and keep up with the blogging (or bloggery as I call it), now that I’m no longer laptopless! Yep, you heard it first folks, I’m finally back and typing on a laptop that isn’t falling apart! I’m still keeping ole reliable: my 2007 MacBook Pro for Photoshop things, because apparently it can still do that stuff without issue. My old laptop was just literally falling to pieces. It no longer had a battery and it was missing some keyboard keys. And the bezel (the frame holding the screen) was cracked.

The new laptop is a used one I bought off of Facebook from a friend of a friend. It’s a 2012 MacBook Pro and I’m hoping it’ll last me until I finish nursing school, because yes, I’m still attempting to finish all my classes for that.

Going to school has been a struggle for me because I live so much in my head that it makes it hard to concentrate on certain things. I’m constantly telling myself I’m going to fail. I don’t know how I got this way, but I know that I have to mentally win over that side of me. I often imagine two me’s fighting; I just can’t let sad me win. And I’ve been letting sad me win for the past five years. It’s time to make that change.

I’m approaching 30 quicker than I want (my birthday is next week) and it’s making me evaluate my life choices more than usual. I know I can’t change the past, but I do have some regrets. I’m still on the fence about whether or not finishing nursing school earlier would have been a better choice. I know that there were some things I *HAD* to learn before figuring out other parts of my life, like a career choice.

The trouble is, I’m at a crossroads where I have to commit to one career choice. I’m already able to transfer to university to do something like Sociology or Communications or I can just buckle down and finish my nursing degree. I’m still not sure of where to take it. Everyone says nursing, because I’m so close to finishing and I’ve been in health care for so long anyway.

I suppose it’s only the natural choice. I can always write on my days off and I won’t worry about being broke.

Wow, this post is pretty all over the place, but I’m just glad to be writing again. Let’s see what {mis}adventures I’ll be getting into this year with the blog! I know I’ll be trying to update its look and try to get my own ads put on here (so I’m making some sort of income, instead of WordPress profiting of my meager view count, haha).

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for lots of new stuff! Including a giveaway soon!

About mischameesh

Messy Meesh: Learning How to Cook and Live a Happier Life
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