I call it The Cloud. No, it’s not that thing in the Internet where all your random files that you need to access at random places go. It’s different. My cloud is a haze that my life tends to constantly be in. When the haze is there, I don’t feel like doing the normal things that people find necessary for a decent life. Cleaning my room? Nah. Hygiene? So long as I’m at home, no one cares. Looking pretty? PFFT.
Since I’ve started this blog, The Cloud has been eroding away like See’s Candies when your boyfriend has broken up with you. Speaking of candies, I have a full box of Whitman’s chocolates that I really don’t want now. It was buy one, get one free, but I digress. My cloud is lifting and I’m very excited.
I woke up yesterday feeling HAPPY. That has been a rare feeling for most of my life. My depression tends to wake me up with a “hey, let’s die today” so when I woke up feeling good and happy for no reason, I did what any normal young person would do. I posted it on Facebook. Fourteen people liked that status. All of them knew of my constant battle with this stupid illness. I shake my fist at you depression! I shake it!
The good feeling evaporated after the cookie fiasco, but I was still feeling pretty positive. Usually when I make a mistake – whether big or small – I’d get so depressed I’d stay in my room for days and avoid doing anything in that area unless absolutely necessary. Yesterday, I went back and did my thing in the kitchen, immediately. After all, one needs to eat breakfast. I probably won’t be using the oven until I figure out what the heck is wrong with it, but at least I’m not petrified to go into the kitchen, especially since this is a sort of food blog. A flog?
Now that the haze is lifted I feel really motivated to do things… like clean. However laziness and procrastination and the general realization that I have a lot of crap may just win out. I could spend the entire morning just finding scraps of trash to throw away and my room would still look like a hot mess.
I wish it were spring. I have every intention of having a yard sale in the spring. Here at the Bee house, the two leading ladies are pack rats and random stuff buyers. The leading man doesn’t care either way, to be honest, he’s just focusing on getting better, like me. Also, we need a nice new sofa in our living room to go with our nice new “smart” television. Eh, he’s not so smart. Well maybe it’s just frustrating that he’s slow. I’m thinking a nice sectional with a chaise section. Hopefully with that nice micro suede stuff that looks super plush. The chaise section would be perfect for blogging. And watching TV. And being the lazy, unemployed person that I am.
Sigh. I’ve got things to do. Perhaps some coffee is in order, as it’s still early. I hope you all have a good day and don’t forget to stay tuned because later I’ll have some nice new cooking entries to share!