Birthday Blues Begone!

Posted on February 24, 2013 by mischameesh
Does it look odd half dipped?

Does it look odd half dipped?

Well yesterday’s birthday plans did not go as planned. I had started to get cancellations as early as the day I had asked the people to come, but it was okay then. But as time went on, more and more people cancelled and with each cancellation, the big smile on my face slowly turned upside down. By the time Friday rolled around and Bestie dropped off her gift, along with an apology and an explanation why she couldn’t make it, a dark cloud had formed over my head. Out of the 14 I invited, 7 RSVP’d. Out of the 7 that said they would make it… 2 came (plus my friend’s friend). Continue reading →

Posted in Learning to Cook, Mini-Adventures, Personal | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

On Writing and the “Google-ability” of Research

Posted on February 24, 2013 by mischameesh

I finally got back into the groove of writing this morning. And when I mean writing, I mean the novel that has been in my brain for several years now. I guess you could say that it’s crime fiction, involving a strong Filipina-American main character and some killing.

It takes me forever to write something, even one paragraph can take hours, simply because research can kick my ass. If I died under dubious circumstances, my google search would bring up some really messed up things, especially when I’m in a writing mood.

Chelle Bee’s Writing-Related Google Searches:

  1. How long does it take to creamate a body?
  2. Ingredients for homemade plastic explosive.
  3. How easy is it to get illegal weapons into California?
  4. How to make meth

Yep. And then my problem with doing research is I can get so easily sidetracked on the internet. When I’m searching for guns that a small woman can handle easily, after a while I’m gun shopping (I don’t really want a gun). Things like this aren’t easy to search. I’m actually going to have to do some human research and go into a gun store. I feel like it would be the most awkward conversation I’ve had.

  • Gun store guy: “So what are you in the market for?”
  • MEESH: “Oh I’m not in the market for a gun. I just want to hold one… for research purposes.”
  • Gun store guy: “What?”
  • MEESH: “Yeah. I’m doing research for a hitman… well hitwoman.”

I wonder what they would say if it actually went like that. Also, I want to go shoot a gun so that I can properly write about it. That and in case of the zombie apocalypse, I’d like to know how to shoot a gun. I think it would be quite the experience. And I need a new machete. Damn zombies.

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Boyfriend or Business

Posted on February 22, 2013 by mischameesh

I know that one day I’ll be able to have it all– that I’ll be able to juggle all the random things I want in my life and still be able to have that wonderful smile that you have been seeing lately in all my photos. But right now, I don’t know if I can juggle it all without losing my current streak of overall good feeling. So I’m really kind of kicking myself for feeling all emo on Valentine’s Day and reaching out to my fellow forever aloners in the internet community. While I love all the attention…. homegirl ain’t got no time for that. Wow… that sounded weird even in my head.  Continue reading →

Posted in Love? Love. LOVE!!!, Personal, Sweet Sweet Business | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Birthday, Babies, and a Better MEESH: Getting More Clarity

Posted on February 20, 2013 by mischameesh
Got my birthday brows done, alas, Ulta will no longer do this at the end of the month.

Got my birthday brows done, alas, Ulta will no longer do this at the end of the month.

I really thought I was backsliding. That the depression I was feeling was only going to worsen and I would still be contemplating going to the hospital and complaining that I don’t really have the time for that, because really… I don’t. But in the past few days, the fog has lifted again and I’m feeling an overwhelming sense of joy, so much so that I’m constantly out of breath. I’m going to say that it’s because of happiness instead of my fat, because I don’t want to think about why I’m really out of breath all the freaking time. But really, I’m feeling as though there is so much joy in my chest that it needs to pop out. I wonder if it’ll last past my birthday month. I really hope so. Continue reading →

Posted in A Good Day, Depression Kills, Personal | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Leaps of Faith

Posted on February 16, 2013 by mischameesh

Poor Ryan Reynolds. This is the second time I’ve had this dream and the same result has happened for him. Thankfully every time it happens, he survives.

So I’ve been having this dream, where I’m with a group of guys and then we have to slide down this HUGE ice cap that’s behind Disney World (go figure). At the bottom, it launches us over this huge ravine and we may or may not land on the other side. Yep, that’s why I say poor Ryan Reynolds. He just doesn’t have what it takes to get over the ravine.

Anyways, I was thinking about it this morning and I realize that the dream must mean that I have to leap. Or well… slide and let myself get taken on a ride where I may or may not get onto the other side. A huge leap of faith. I’m rather scared, but I’m going to interpret this as getting this Sweet, Sweet Business of the ground. I hope everything works out. And maybe then Ryan Reynolds won’t have to fail miserably at grabbing that root that’s always there when he just barely misses the other side.

Posted in MEESHY'S ideas and dream world, Personal | Tagged | Leave a comment

Losing Momentum

Posted on February 15, 2013 by mischameesh

I’m trying not to write sad and depressing posts, but I really am starting to feel tired and blue. I don’t know if it was the forever alone-ness of Valentine’s Day or just some general anxiety building up in my system. I’ve been eating a lot too. Which is a super bummer because well, it’s not like it’s fancy food (okay the weekend had really nice food, but not during the week). I’m putting off responsibilities and my kitchen is a hot mess –more so than usual. I’ve got loads of truffle fillings that need to get rolled but no ganas to do it. I figure after I post this, I’ll get off me bum and go Laura Ingalls my dishes. Someone tell Ty Pennington to fix my house.

Posted in Depression Kills, Personal, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Little Things

Posted on February 13, 2013 by mischameesh

In the past few days, little things have been coming in that would kickstart what I’ve been working on since the new year started. I’ve also been in the process of looking for employment.

And of course with all these things, I’ve felt doubt. I am unsure of whether to take that leap that is necessary in both. There is so much risk involved, so much to lose and so much to gain. I am so scared. I don’t want to fail, but I also know that I am capable of self-destruction.

Every feeling in my body says to keep going on the business, to stop trying to find work and just keep plugging away at making recipes and finding out more about making a business plan and getting the funds necessary to get the ball rolling.

But again, I AM SO SCARED. I don’t want to fail. But anything worth having has risk right?

Posted in Personal, Sweet Sweet Business | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

The Insanely Busy Weekend: Food, Gifts, Food, Brakes, Food, Baking, Food, Music…. and FOOD!

Posted on February 11, 2013 by mischameesh
I feel... very River-y

I feel… very River-y

This is gonna be a long post, so I think I’ll work my way backwards.

Sunday
Tonight, I went to my first LA show. My friend and I went to watch a band called Handsome as Sin. I had a wonderful time. I really like their sound and I think I learned a few things/had the most random realizations whilst being in The Viper Room:

  1. The difference between fangirl and groupie has got to be: fangirls = more awkward, less sexy. I am totally a Handsome as Sin fangirl now. 
  2. Headbanging must cause some sort of head trauma. I need to stop thinking like a caregiver.
  3. Plaid. Plaid. Plaid. Plaid. Plaid. PLAID. When in doubt, wear plaid.
  4. Starting a mosh pit is hard. Shout out to the guy who tried to start one. You get an “A” for effort.

I’d go into the nuances of what I like about the band… if I could pinpoint exactly what it was… but I’m the type to like music and really not know why. So click the link, find their clips, and I hope you’ll end up impatiently waiting for their album like me!

Continue reading →

Posted in Learning to Cook, Mini-Adventures | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

A Guilty Girlie and Smuggled-in “Contraband”

Posted on February 7, 2013 by mischameesh

I just got home, but before I entered my house, I stuffed a few things into my very large handbag. Even though Big Momma Bee’s not home to get mad at me, I know she would be very mad to find out that I went against her orders… and bought more baking stuff. Most of it is in my trunk… but I had to smuggle in the dairy goods. Daddy Bee is by the Sweet, Sweet Fridge, so I don’t know how I’m going to pop them into the one place I know he won’t look and then tell Mama Bear. I hope he goes to the bathroom soon, so I could throw them in there. Is this how drug addicts feel?

Posted in Learning to Cook | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Nutella Hand Pie: Because Nutella.

Posted on February 7, 2013 by mischameesh
Needs work, as usual.

Needs work, as usual.

I went to go check pull my laundry out of the dryer (I put it in last night, as usual) only to find out that stoopid me forgot to turn it on. What a fail. These hand pies…. are also of questionable success.

Continue reading →

Posted in Learning to Cook, Misadventures | Tagged , , | Leave a comment